Let's Get this Party Started.......

State moves to ban fake testicles on vehicles
By Michael Peltier Fri Apr 25, 12:03 PM ET
TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state. Republican Sen. Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban. Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like "Truck Nutz" and resemble the south end of a bull moving north. Look at all the pretty colors!!!! What a selection to choose from and it makes me wonder what great BRAINIAC thought this one up sitting around a fire one night, drinking their Old Milwaukee's Best, scratching THEIR nutz, and let's not forget the ol' "take the cigerette lighter to the ol' release of the fart trick"!!! I can just imagine the wealth of knowledge that was spinning that night and how this GREAT INVENTION came to be........

Poll: Clinton has better chance than Obama of beating McCain
By LIZ SIDOTI, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 51 minutes ago
WASHINGTON - Hillary Rodham Clinton has a better chance than Barack Obama of beating Republican John McCain, according to a new Associated Press-Ipsos poll that bolsters her argument that she is more electable in the fall than her rival for the Democratic nomination. The survey released Monday gives Clinton a fresh talking point as she works to convince pivotal undecided superdelegates to side with her in the drawn-out Democratic primary fight.
Clinton, who won the Pennsylvania primary last week, has gained ground this month in a hypothetical head-to-head match up with the GOP nominee-in-waiting; she now leads McCain, 50 percent to 41 percent, while Obama remains virtually tied with McCain, 46 percent to 44 percent.HELLOOOO?????!!!!!!!! I think we've all ready covered this......and I've also covered the fact that if they would just get together (her and Obama) it would make the first for history itself; First female president and first African American VP.......there's noth'n wrong with the man taking the back seat this time....it's about time that we see the Woman take the reigns and I do believe that polls are seeing it. I took my own poll this weekend with some cougars and some playfull little cubs and it seemed the general conscensus was, let the ol' bat take the bull by the horns......she has more experience than him and could teach us all a thing or two about what to do in the oval office when it came to under-the table politics......wait a minute, that could have been a discussion that someone had said to me......sometimes my mind wonders when I've had too much Pearl Lite and then the little cubs slip me a Jager Bomb just for kicks......never mind....but you get the jest of what I'm saying.........

The Apology Check (WTF?!?)

How to use Your Government Stimulus check...

As you may have heard, each of us will be getting a check to stimulate the economy.


If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If we purchase a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it at yard sales, since those are the only businesses still in the USA

This is not a Joke.....But quite humorous, to say the least.....

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

By Joe Bavier Tue Apr 22, 1:24 PM ET
KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings. I, for one, see NO PROBLEM with this scenario and I think I've read where there may be others here that may agree; the Witches of Johnson County have been known to dabble in this very practice; however, I'm not at liberty to really discuss any of the actual details due to the fact it might compromise my duties to the high priestess.......

Joke of the day.....

The Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in therace again, and it won again.The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he orderedthe pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to getrid of the donkey.The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headlinethe next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy backthe donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . being concerned about public opinioncan bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer! Have a nice day!

MICHAEL MOORE-CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK???

Michael Moore endorses Obama, chides Clinton LOS ANGELES - Michael Moore wants voters in Pennsylvania to cast their ballots for Barack Obama. Moore endorsed Obama in a 1,100-word posting on his Web site Monday. It includes praise for the Illinois senator and harsh words for Hillary Rodham Clinton, the Democratic Party and the Bush administration."What we are witnessing is not just a candidate but a profound, massive public movement for change," Moore writes. "My endorsement is more for Obama The Movement than it is for Obama the candidate."
The 54-year-old Oscar-winning filmmaker was hardly as kind to Clinton.
"Over the past two months, the actions and words of Hillary Clinton have gone from being merely disappointing to downright disgusting," he writes, saying that she has tried to "smear" Obama — "Like you were nuts. Like you were a bigot stoking the fires of stupidity."Most of Moore's ire is directed at the Bush administration "and the permanent, irreversible damage it has done to our people and to this world."WELL....the actions and words of Michael's for the last, umm, how many years we have had to endear have been somewhat entertaining, to say the least; and I, at times, will admit to being amused by his satire and b.s. when it comes to some of his analyzations on the current administration and maybe even his filmography.....but for him to actually say that Hillary has disappointed HIM and disgusted HIM, and to use words like "smear" and "nuts, bigot, and the all too well used "STUPIDITY" in one of his quotes, from his mouth, is down right hilarious!!!! Here's my take; he's pissed because Hillary has probably said what he's been thinking (and plus, she's a woman) and now it's busted him on any docu-drama on Obama film he's probably making to undermine him; Soooo, he's like a scorned lover; he's lashing back!!! He's joined the other camp as to piss her off with his b.s. tactics of name calling and spin that we all know too well with all of his work that he's done in the past on Bush, Clinton, etc.....Michael; get over yourself.....Just because a WOMAN goes out and bashes or name calls (just like you have done and made HOW MANY MILLIONS AND WON AN OSCAR FOR????) doesn't mean they're trying to take your limelight away, son!!!! Rest easy.....I'm sure they'll be enough crap left on the editing floor for you to piece together something that you can make into another award winning performance..........Drama King!

darling......can you hand me a Pearl Light and that ash tray????..............

POPE BLESSES ST.PATRICK'S, GETS A BEAVER! GOD BLESS HIM!

NY police on Pope watch snatch river beaver

NEW YORK (Reuters) - New York police guarding the United Nations during Pope Benedict's visit on Friday made a rare discovery and rescue -- of a beaver struggling to swim past the world body's headquarters. Soon after the pope left the United Nations, police harbour and scuba units patrolling the East River spotted the four-foot (1.20 metre) long, 40-pound (18-kg) animal. Beavers have only recently returned to the city with the first sighting of one in more than 200 years made in February 2007.
Lt. John Harkins, commanding officer, NYPD SCUBA, said in a statement that the animal had been tilting unnaturally and showed "laboured breathing." After securing it in a safety noose the officers pulled it aboard their vessel.
"It has pretty big claws," Harkins said of the beaver which will be taken to an animal hospital.
(Reporting by Michelle Nichols, editing by Sandra Maler) You know, I can't help but say this and you all know what I'm about to say.........but I bet it's the first beaver for the Pope, EVER!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS POPE BENEDICT!!!!!!

THIS JUST IN.....KINKY FRIEDMAN TO BE IN EUREKA!

May the 10th at the AUD

I'm heartbroken........I want to see him SOOOOOO bad! I have a prior commitment at a Cougar Convention and I CAN'T get out of it......But it may be for the best, for you see, if he were to see me, the show may not go on! His eyes would meet mine and like two ships in the night, it would be like poetry in motion and who knows what might happen. And for that, I will remove myself from any mass riots or any crowd jeering because I know, deep in my heart that Kinky would want to get Kinky with this body! When you've got a leapord print, body suit, stilletos, a cigar and Kinky Friedman in the mix.......well, I'm gonna take one for the team and just walk away! Peace out!

O'bama's gett'n "Wimpy"....Just Let Hillary Wear the Pants

I don't know why they just don't get together.......

O.K.....I'm putt'n on my makeup this a.m. over coffee and my oatmeal and trying to wakeup and I start reading this article from Michael Hirsh; it's a good article about Obama being sorta "Kerryized" and all these sorts of name calling things; which he's referring to the bit where he's trying to defend his patriotism. Which, I for one, have yet to remain on the fence between Hillary and Obama just because I am one of those open minded people and will not make my mind up till I see who shows us what till the bitter end of the race. As for the primary, I did not vote because I felt I didn't have enough time to make a valid decision at that time. Truthfully..... right now, I really don't know why they don't team up and do the ticket together. I would really like to see these two in office.......don't get me wrong; I take this seriously and I really do think that they could be the best ticket in history and this is how I see it.....Hillary, with Obama as her VP. Sorry guys, but I'm not throwing the "burning bra" thing here, or "It's TIME FOR A WOMAN" card, and Lord knows I wasn't a part of the Women's Rights Movement in the 60's cuz I was only small tot! However, Mr. Hirsh points out some valid things even though he may be defending Mr. Obama and that is, in my opinion, that he's stuck in trying to defend his own honor and patiotism and we really don't have time for that......he has the right ideas and would make a great asset to the administration and PR king as far as I'm concerned. I can see him and Hillary flying all over the place in Airforce One and take'n on the new frontier! Also, couldn't you just see her bitch slapp'n him around if he got out of control and then him saying somethin' like, "Yo Mama!"......I bet they could really have some good cat fights in the oval office;and maybe it would escalate into one of those things where there fighting would turn into sexual rage and all of a sudden she rakes everything off the desk and he slams her down right there in the oval office on the desk; you know that would really take away all the pains and woes we endured over the blue dress and the cigar issues that are still embedded in our heads to this day........I'm scarred.........I want some bro's and hoe's!!!!!!!!!!

Desperate Housewives.......I had a "Cougar" friend that did almost this very same thing this week.......

How ironic.....it wasn't the same topic...but it was along the same line of "why am I not getting it", so to speak. Did anyone watch this Sunday night? When I watched it, I didn't feel so alone for my Cougette because she is feeling like a lost sheep and wanting to find out why she can't find her way back to the church because some want this in church and some want that in church. I've found that there are politics everywhere you go; even in church and it's sad because you should at least be able to go to OUR house of the Lord to find yourself. But unfortunately, what you thought was a house of sancticty and spirituality has some how turned into a party.....people running around acting like it's a non-stop meet and greet! Sometimes you just want to go and get in tune with HIM and only HIM and leave the rest of the world out of it because, it seems in this day and age, the whole world is in your business and rules your whole life thru the week. For one hour of the week it would be nice to go and listen to God's word without standup comedy and happy hour! Longfellow says "Give what you have; to someone it may be better than you dare to think."

The COUGAR Den at Saturday Night Live April 12, 2008

You know, I was watching this Saturday night and I had to pinch myself because I was in awe of what I was seeing on my big 52" screen. I THOUGHT IT WAS MYSELF!!!! I thought, "I CAN'T BE THERE!!! I'M HERE! ON THE COUCH....SURROUNDED BY EMPTY BOWLS OF ICE CREAM, POPCORN, CIGERETTE BUTTS, EMPTY PEARL LIGHT CANS! But then I remembered that Cousin Virg said something about the powers that Uncle Fergus left us about being in two places at once.......WHOOOOO!!! Scared me there for a minute because I didn't have any lipstick on! (sorry Virg about the Pearl Lite; I just had a 12 pack! I'll get back on track for the run.......)

Hillary might want to take a lesson from Milly...........

PORN STAR UNVEILS HER CAMPAIGN WEAPON-HER BOTTOM

ROME (Reuters) - She had no desire to be just another smiling face in Italian politics. So when porn star Milly D'Abbraccio designed her campaign posters, it was obvious she was going to show off her bottom. Targeting her male fan base, the veteran of Italy's adult entertainment industry has plastered images of her derriere all around the Eternal City in a bid to win a seat in Rome's city hall.
If elected, D'Abbraccio wants to create a red light area with strip clubs, erotic discos and sex shops called "Love City" just kilometers away from the Vatican."People don't want to see these politicians' faces anymore," she told Reuters in an interview from her Rome apartment.
She said she was tapping into her popularity among pornography fans as "an act of generosity" to help Italy's socialists, who are fielding her in the municipal race.
"I am the derriere of the Socialist party," she concluded.As for experience, D'Abbraccio acknowledges she is a political novice but she did play a powerful lawmaker in an adult film called "L'Onorevole."
"I played the part of the speaker of the lower house of parliament, who got very hot and then let herself go," she said.Now that's a campaign stategy!!!! I think Hillary should just go ahead and start the talks and get her on board......I know, I know......she might not have a little thing called "citizenship", but I'm sure the Clinton's can figure something out! I'm sure Bill wouldn't have a problem gett'n RIGHT ON THAT!!!!! (no pun intended.......!)

The last lecture of Randy Pausch 6

This guy is very inspirational and especially on this day of remembrance of my friend's friend, Trish! Let's remember our Childhood DREAMS!!!!

To Patricia.......A dear friend who I have with me daily........

I'm posting this for a dear friend: For you see, a dear friend of mine lost her friend twenty years ago this Friday, April 11th. It was in 1988 and they were just young girls growing up in the world and this young friend was living in Tulsa and living her life like any 24 year old, single, beautiful, full of life, young lady would do. All too sudden, to be taken away from her friends and family by a vicious murderer; and the murderer has still not been justly put away. Patricia was an only child and the apple of her mom and dad's eye; loved by everyone and was full of so much spirit that yes, some times she was hard to tame! And that is why she still lives on today in our friends daily lives and each and every day, not a moment goes by that she is not with us going thru this life, hand in hand; only one day we will all be together......Patricia Ann Elsken 1964-1988

If anyone has any information please contact the Tulsa Cold Case P.D. or go to this link http://www.newson6.com/Global/category.asp?C=130463&nav=menu682_2_3

ETHICS....SCHMETHICS!!!!!!!!

Teachers Shred Proposed Code of Conduct

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. -- Educators are up in arms in a meeting Monday night about a code of conduct that they say stretches outside the classroom.""I believe we need a code of ethics but this document as it is frightens me," one teacher said. Educator after educator echoed that same sentiment at a meeting in Fayetteville Monday night. Many said they are worried the code is too broad and will make it too easy to revoke a teacher's license for moral matters.""I think they had some points right on that we will definitely look into," said Beverly Williams of the Department of Education. Fifteen committee members wrote the draft of the code. They have been traveling the state to get input and said the meetings have been positive.
"We'll probably get into our jeans and t-shirts and sit down on the floor and get to work,” Williams said. That's what educators are hoping for. They want to see a re-worked version of a code of ethics instead of one that they called "frightening" Monday." as reported on 4029tv.com.

I BLOGGED about this a couple of days ago and thought it was absurd to begin with and that the Code of Ethics they had drafted was a JOKE......But I was thinking they were to LENIENT!!!!! I never thought of them to be FRIGHTENING......the only thing I see frightening is the fact that they are being quoted as "getting into our jeans and t-shirts"...blah, blah, blah.......first of all, let's make sure they are getting into their own jeans and not the students! I think that's what we're trying to accomplish here with a Code of SOMETHING......by all means, let's not frighten the poor teachers out of their SHIRTS!!!!!!!!

Big Love in Texas Town!!! But Where's DALE????

Trooper Probe Texas Polygamist Compound

"By MICHELLE ROBERTS, Associated Press Writer
SAN ANGELO, Texas - Authorities who took 220 women and children from a polygamist compound weren't sure whether the teen girl whose phone call prompted the raid was among them.
State troopers raided the 1,700-acre West Texas ranch on Friday to look for evidence that the teen, who called authorities a week ago, was married. They planned to continue interviews Monday with some of the women and children, who were transported to a historic San Angelo museum, said Child Protective Services spokeswoman Marleigh Meisner.
So far, 18 children have been taken legally in state custody, Meisner said, who explained Friday that the children had either been harmed or were in imminent danger at the compound. She would not give details. The children remain with relatives, and no arrests had been made as of Sunday.""They are looking for evidence the girl, who allegedly had a baby at 15, and 50-year-old Dale Barlow were married. Under Texas law, girls younger than 16 cannot marry, even with parental approval.
Allison Palmer, the prosecutor working on the case, said other law enforcement agencies "know where (Barlow) is and have talked to him, but our investigators have not."
Barlow's probation officer, Bill Loader, told The Salt Lake Tribune that he was in Arizona. A call to Loader by The Associated Press was not returned Sunday.
Barlow was sentenced to jail last year after pleading no contest to conspiracy to commit sexual conduct with a minor. He was ordered to register as a sex offender for three years while on probation." Might need to call HBO, Harry Dean Stanton or even Bill Paxton........they might know where the low life is!!!!! I have to admit though......I love the show, but it's just a show, right????? I don't like it when it's reality and it's in the form of REALITY TV NEWS!!!!!!! (Picture courtesy of HBO)

Men Create More Housework for Women.........HELLO?

"Having a husband creates an extra seven hours of housework each week for women, according to a new study. For men, tying the knot saves an hour of weekly chores.
"It's a well-known pattern," said lead researcher Frank Stafford, an economist at University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research. "Men tend to work more outside the home, while women take on more of the household labor."
He points out individual differences among households exist. But in general, marriage means more housework for women and less for men. "And the situation gets worse for women when they have children," Stafford said.
Overall, times are a' changing in the American home. In 1976, women busied themselves with 26 weekly hours of sweeping-and-dusting work, compared with 17 hours in 2005. Men are pitching in more, more than doubling their housework hours from six in 1976 to 13 in 2005.
Stafford analyzed time-diaries and questionnaires from a nationally representative sample of men and women over a 10-year period between 1996 and 2005. The federally-funded study showed that, compared with the single life, marriage meant more housework for both men and women.
"Marriage is no longer a man's path to less housework," Stafford said. " from LiveScience.com I can only imagine that a man wrote this article, as the study was obviously done by a MAN..........I really wonder how much money went into this study and time??? Someone should've called my mom! She could have told them the straight facts really quick, as could my Nana because I know that woman spent 20 hours a day just pick'n up the newspapers around Papa Argus' recliner!!!!!

Arkansas Educators Consider Ethics Code

"Arkansas teachers will soon be measured by a formal ethics standard....
New at Wednesday night, the Arkansas Department of Education held a public hearing to discuss ethics in education. Arkansas is one of the few states whose teachers don't have a code of ethics.
And with recent cases of teacher misconduct in the news, some believe the time is right to put the standards in place.
"We believe those people that have been in the news have been in the minority, because we have some outstanding teachers in Arkansas. We want all of our teachers who are coming through our teacher training to actually see the code of expectation, of what those standards are -- for what your conduct should be as a teacher," Beverly Williams said with AR Dept. of Education.
And if you'd like to see the code of ethics, click here

."Reported by: Betsey Martin, KARK 4-News
Wednesday, Apr 2, 2008 @07:51pm CST When I was in school, I guess I was oblivious to the teachers' that were pervs around me, or either they kept their craziness to their private sects..........Anyway, this is a little too late in my book and as far as the Code of Ethics is concerned, I don't believe that's really going to change a sick predatory mind set to change if they miraculously read this code and then WALLAH!!!! "I'M GOING TO ABIDE BY THE CODE!" Sorry, don't think it'll work that way; just my opinion. Got to dig a little deeper into the background checks of these people you're hiring and I'm sorry again; however, within the hiring system of our school systems, these tight lips at the last known place of employment should be able to disclose something about the prospective employee that you're check'n out if they have had KNOWN issues and repeated WRITTEN reprimands........You would think that a prospective employer/school district could request these records per the FOI, per a lawyer's request on behalf of the prospective employer; of course that means another job for a lawyer, but it can only be in the best interest and the RIGHTS of the STUDENTS and why not..........But I'm sure it's infringing on some pervs rights......so nevermind! Let's just make it look good for now! Peace out!

1st EVER Autism Awareness Day....One boy, 3 dogs, 27 years....

http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/openyourheartwithpets/archives/135597.asp?from=blog_last3 Good Story on this link above and thanks Virg, for bringing this to my attention! You lead, I will follow..........

Mini-black hole is smallest ever but still strong.....REALLY?

Are they sure it's not a ROCK????
"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - NASA scientists have identified the smallest black hole ever found -- less than four times the mass of our sun and about the size of a large city. But the mini-black hole, dubbed J1650, could still stretch a person into a "strand of spaghetti" with its pull, the researchers told a meeting in Los Angeles."

REALLY......I thought it was the black hole that they called "W's" brain......oh well.

I think I'll call it.....hummmm.......GW2009 (the year we are free of his strand of spaghetti that has pulled us thru a black hole for eight years!)

I'M FREE......I'M FREE!!!!!!!!

I'm finally free from the spamalots of Google and if it weren't for Sweet Rose and the Google Doc Gatsby, I'd probably still be in purgatory. However, I am now free to ramble and speak nonsense just like everyone else here at Blogger and hopefully someone might give a hoot! And also, I must give cudos to Cousin Virg for stimulating my curiosity on this little thing we call......BLOG!